pull up your pants and fasten your anti-rape belts girlies, it's time for an update! oh good grief..

probably the most cliche excuse i could give for not keeping this blog in tune with the latest happenings in my life is that i have been ever so busy with my dreadful exams. unfortunately, the honesty fairy will only pardon me partially with that bullcrap.

truth be told, i am nothing but a lazy ass who does not have the capability to overcome this lethargy in both body and mind to grant my few but loyal readers the joy of poking their noses into my personal life.

in a friendlier tone, so much has happened since the last time i updated that i'm not really sure where i should begin.

let's start with my I&E project! as we were THIS close to making it a complete disaster, we decided to turn it around and make our event "A Day at the Beach (at Sentosa)" and yes it was nothing but bullshit and luck that got us through the presentation after we put our event into action.

basically the entire brilliant idea concocted by 5 professional and experienced procrastinators was to drag in some of the classmates of 2 of these geniuses and make them do whatever they want at the beach as we took photos.

being the lean, mean, demeaning machine that i am, i shall post some photos here that make me look good while making others look only half as glamorous:



since cheryl and i came early (damn i just noticed how suggestive that might have sounded if i said it out loud), she thought of passing the time by taking photos with our tri-coloured spherical friend.


and the sneaky girl thought it would be amusing to snap a candid shot of me looking all sissy. strangely enough, i happen to like sissy me.


friend or foe... or supper? this feathered wanderer stumbled upon our path and tried to get itself acquainted. it made a dash for it when the volleyball and frisbee developed an attraction for it.



after returning from a little rendezvous with an old friend of mine, i VOLUNTARILY joined in the photo-taking session (i personally hate the beach... i was there out of dedication to my team and our project).


after janice grew to feel as bored as i was, we ended up having a one-on-one cubing tutorial session. yes, i'm a good teacher but no, i don't like teaching.


oh and just to add a more random twist to blogging, i bumped into Mr "MAN" the day after i watched transformers. check him out:


i actually prefer this cheap imitation autobot as compared to the ah beng pimped out (blue and red with orange flames running along the side, complete with an orange parang in robot mode) optimus prime depicted in the movie.


let's try to bounce back into the past for a bit. i took this photo in june with howard's phone but i only got it recently.


that's right. you're looking at half a genius with Doctor G over back.


next topic. taking a bus to tampines (which is without doubt one helluva long ride from school) with two of the most adorable pets my school could supply me only turned out to be another opportunity for unrestrained, public-wincing, incredibly satistfying..... camwhoring sessions!
we started with crystal insisting i take this photo of her:


(please note that the camera was completely useless as it was unable to take any photos and only someone with no clue what the word "inoperable" means would still carry it around)
as a response, i insisted i take this photo of her:


of course the problems here were the angle of the camera (which should have been held higher as to prove DEEPer artistry), the jerking of the bus (which, for a brief moment, made me wonder if the bus driver was jerking off, resulting in the worst bus ride to tampines ever. i'm taking sbs only from now on) and of course the jacket (which in my opinion, makes her look just an eensy bit androgynous).

and now who can forget the total inconsiderate invasion of kaijia's sleep in order to catch her looking her fattest and most unglam. yippee!


during the rest of the trip (after kaijia woke up) we entertained ourselves with photo after photo... ceasing only when my phone ran out of space due to the improvisional porn i've been filming. that was a joke people, a joke.
well here's the remainder of the collection, or at least just the bits i'm willing to show all of u:






ok now being once again the lazy son of a darling mother, i am done posting up photos... for now at least.

and to make a point here, u JC gooders must be having a great time prancing around in your matching outfits (ripped off from prisons and correctional facilities) panicking and diving into epileptic seizures over the prelims u are currently undergoing as well as the upcoming A levels which will, pardon me if i describe this incorrectly, wrap three fingers and a thumb from each hand applying tremendous amounts of pressure around your neck constricting it so effectively that you will be unable to finish your last breath the moment it attacks, leaving you to see your life flash before your eyes as it cuts out your air supply until you pass away.

oh but that's just what i heard about A levels, not a big deal anyway :)

i'll just sit back, throw my legs onto my desk and wait day by day until i receive my results for this semester.
gee. it's going to be dramatic. why you may ask?

OBC.
a module taken by year one students and year two students who missed out on the wonders of organic and biological chemistry while they were still freshly broiling in the devil's pit of despair a.k.a. Ngee Ann Life Science.
i'll keep this one simple. if i fail it, which is very VERY possible, i'm fucked. if i don't and somehow survive with a D, well... yay.

Immunology.
the ultimate life science module. often underestimated, taken for granted, with distinctions ever so wanted. despite being one, god forbid, bloody fucking hell difficult module, i complacently believed i would get an A for it and even made a deal on it.
if i don't get my A, i'm shaving my head.

that's right. if i don't get an A for immunology, all this will be gone:


(photo taken after visiting st pat's in my school uniform on teacher's day... oh and my favourite martian a.k.a victoria chew insists that i look like slash in this photo)

that's all for now. hopefully with my two months of nothing i might be able to rekindle the flame that used to burn in the very soul of this blog by sparking up the shit that remains in its ass.

cheerio. and please tag.

Curly
had nuthin to do @ 12:07 AM

Curly
had nuthin to do @ 11:16 PM

get your reading glasses and hit those lamps people. this is gonna be one long post.

i know i haven't been updating, even though i planned out many things to blog about. don't worry though, i'll stuff it all into tonight's post.

as a start, i'll attempt to summarise as much of the sleepy conversation i had with my older sister as i can. she was sleeping on a mattress on my room floor during the nights our aunt and cousin took over her room. random talk like this can only occur at 3am in the morning.


Sleep Conversations Part A (Sharon):
my sister has this office colleague named sharon. let's see how sharon's description went...

che: sharon's cat is some persian pariah that looks like its face kena langa by a lorry and ten thousand buses.

che: sharon looks exactly like that: small lower body, fat upper body, head like ta mu tou (the bighead thing during chinese new year) with pasted on rebonded hair.

me: wadahell?

che: seriously her hair is like whoopi goldberg, the chinese imitation version.

me: i'm suddenly thinking of garbage bag strips pasted onto someone's head.

che: flat hair + rhastafarian = flustafarian!

me: flusta!!


-----//yes u see how random the conversations go...//-----


Sleep Conversations Part B (Hot Angel):


che: Who's the hottest charlie's angel?

me: LUCY LIU!!!

che: thank you. dunno why all the guys like cameron dias.

me: eh cameron dias is damn hot what?! SHE'S HOT OK!?!?

che: in 20 years time cameron dias will look like fiona...

me: FIONA! I LOVE FIONA........

che: princess fiona... shrek's wife.

me: irene ang no more with michelle chong right?

che: no she's dating constance song now.


----- // -----


Sleep Conversations Part C (Cousin Joel):
we were talking about our cousin joel and his love for computer games.


me: he became an eccentric kid that happens to be damn good at this kinda thing.

che: -dozing off-

me: u sleeping arh?

che: no... u said "falling in love into computer games."

me: i said NONE of those words...

che & me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


----- // -----


Sleep Conversations Part D (Old School Jokes):

over here we just started telling those old jokes like the american guy with the durian and mahathir with the schoolbag. dunno if anyone remembers those jokes...


----- // -----


Sleep Conversations Part E (Hong Kong Disneyland):
she was telling me what one of her friends described to her about the Pirates of the Carribean ride in hong kong disneyland.

che: the ride is damn lousy and all the people acting are chinese pirates straight from hong kong.

che: worst of all is the host at the front of the boat.

che: -imitating the host- "oh no! the pirates going to attacks us!" -said with heavy hong kong chinese accent.

che: then they had this ah beng pirate that asks them a question.. "tell me the name of the pirate in the movie! if u correct i let u pass!"

che: all the ang mohs were purposely saying rubbish names like "jackyson bellows" instead of jack sparrow.

che: they wanted to see what the ah beng pirate's plan B was or if he has one.

che: after a long while the ah beng said "i let u go... i give u all chance.. i get u next time!"

me: yeh my old tuition teacher said she brought her kids to hong kong disneyland and they had more fun at pasar malam carnivals.

me: i guess the rides are similar and probably better maintained here.

che: hong kong disneyland is so small they dun even have "it's a small world"

me: HAHAHA! -bangs wall and laughs-

che: oh but they have snow white making out with a headless mickey mouse.

me: haha lydia sum's daughter right? she's snow white?! isn't she fat also?

che: yar but she went for lipo.

me: ah i say liposuction turns them into nymphos!

che: deprived for too long arh... dick cannot find the hole when fat is it?

che: i'm never going for lipo man...

me: doctors hypnotise them to lympho!

che: lympho?

me: i meant to say "hypnotise them during lipo into nymphos" lar, shit..


----- // -----


Sleep Conversations Part F (Sick):

me: i like to feel restraint when i sleep. i think i'm an SM freak.

che: adi's msn nick last time was "sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me."

me: i'm gonna use that as my personal message. his nick changed already right?

che: yar... damn good right?

che: -dozing off-

me: when i was a kid i used to think of what it'd feel like to shit through my penis.

che: then u ask the aunty to put in the blender.


----- // -----


Sleep Conversations Part G (Lucid Dreaming):
i was explaining to her what lucid dreaming is and how people achieve it.

me: it's so i can kill my friends in my dreams.

me: pull a gun out from behind the curtains and blast them to smithereens.

che: pull it out of ur pants.

che: shotgun! doi-yao! super long!

che: or ask doraemon to pull it out of his pocket.

me: eh haha yar his pocket at his crotch.

che: pulls it out and has a shotgun sticking out of his crotch pocket.

me: like some robot dick haha.. and then he keeps 'reloading' very fast.

che: or he can ask that chinese boy to keep 'reloading' for him. hahaha...


----- // -----


Sleep Conversations Part H (MSN nicks):
we were discussing my younger sister's bimbo nicks and then about how mine became "schlong john silver"
we were laughing at belle being such a paris hilton and she can laugh at my older sister's nick when all it says is "ficks".

me: miguel and i were high on a tub of B&J.

me: we were talking about crap like turkish snowcones and irish facials.. and suddenly he blurted "that schlong is a monsta!!"

me: i was so fascinated by the word schlong, i said "schlong john silver!"

me: miguel said, "that's it, your gonna put that as ur msn nick."

me: and now i refuse to change my default schlong john silver.


----- // -----


after she started snoring i decided to jump outta bed and grab my pen and paper to attempt recording everything down. sorry i just loved the conversations and the fact that neither of us were drunk, just sleepy.
now obviously i couldn't remember everything, but everything i wrote down is in this post.
oh and while she was snoring,

she exclaimed: OH MY GOD!

me: what WHAT!?

che: there's a boyfriend back here...

che: -continues snoring-


----- //END// -----



another thing i really absolutely HAVE to blog about is my lubricated rubik's cube.
although the silicon spray lubricant screwed the stickers a little, i think it was so worth it.
it feels so much smoother now and i'm getting ever so fast.

here's some photos to show the lubricating process (the cube was dismantled first):




rocks... i never thought i'd be able to solve a cube with one hand.

another random photo:


taken by someone very dear to me. unfortunately that cheese sausage in mashed potatoes thing looks smaller in the photo... it was supposed to be suggestive :D

i have yet to receive the photos benji took during Rock for Wayne recently, but it was really great. much MUCH better than i expected it to be.

here's some stuff that fascinated me on the way there (yes i DID get lost):



haha hilarious.

since i'm already on this topic...

10 reasons why i wanted to "Rock for Wayne":

1. i needed to go out once before my break was over
2. west grand boulevard.
3. electrico
4. amanda ling
5. caracal
6. crowd surfing
7. wayne thunder rocks
8. girls
9. astroninja all-stars
10. the many familiar faces

ok i know this post is hell boring but i'm really tired and i don't know what to blog about. just blogging for the sake of updating.

oh yeh! howard shaved his head!
(i call him my pet scofield... cause it's SO PRISON BREAK)


crystal goh and howard tjendra
aka thunder tanya and adam/ethan
(obviously i was the cameraman, that explains the shaking into blurriness. but i think crystal looks damn good now anyway.)



marcus arriola and howard tjendra
hype pharmers, too hot too cool for our own good.
(our charlie's angels ass-kickin pose!)



curly-locks and botak jones
(check out the contrast, yo!)

ok i'm out of things to type. i'll update soon about how my dog can fall asleep almost anywhere in any condition (like me!!) oh and i hate that pale yellow polo tee howard is wearing. it's disgusting.

that's all from the world of curl.

Curly
had nuthin to do @ 10:43 PM

Destructocube vs Scarface

oh what great joy the term break brings with it. the amount of sleep my body has been receiving is overwhelming my eyelids.

well... sleep ain't doing no good for my face. i took more pictures the day after my previous post and it showed no improvement and, if anything, i actually got fuglier.
let us examine specimen A for signs of cellulitis and folliculitis:


ah yes now here we have a general view of the complete tragic makeover i am undergoing

let's move up a little:


wonderful. a clear shot of the cluster of molerats clawing their way out of my forehead

and just tilting the camera down a little:


OH SNAP! blister-like lesions that formed across the mid-section of my cheeks. classic signs of unfuckablemonsteria

crikey mate! now that's one adventure that will linger on me memory for a lifetime!



and now for an update on recent happenings... over to alfred lee for the headlines.


thank you giovanni, we've got quite a story today. last night between the times of 10-10.30pm, a true tragedy occured. charles milo van, a 4 year old imitation rubik's cube, met his demise in the hands of his owner. the over-enthusiastic speedcuber wannabe lost control of himself and selfishly pushed charles beyond his imitation capability. the result was an exploding head, charles' head. a horror that neither one of us can shake off till this very moment.

the following images contain graphic content that may be unsuitable for some audiences. viewer discretion is advised.






what a story! thank you alfred!
up next we have today's news.


the purchase of two new (and original) rubik's cubes was made at the exact time of 7.59pm tonight. quality far surpassing its imitation sibling charles, chucky the cube has delighted his new owner marcus arriola from sealed package to scrambled cube. his twin will remain sealed in suspended animation until further notice.
let's take a look at how chucky's fitting in at his new home:









another happy ending.
this is marcus arriola and giovanni christe (and alfred lee!) with christie tan absent for personal reasons. we've come to the end of curly-talk, thank you and good night!

(curly-talk was brought to you by chucky the rubik's cube. the rubik's cube is an official product of the brand rubik's and the brand rubik's is a registered trademark of the company rubik's.)

Curly
had nuthin to do @ 11:40 PM

one million disulphide apologies to those faithful readers who actually checked this blog only to discover, to their horror, that marcus has gone on an unofficial hiatus.

well, with common tests over, i'm back!

yes it was common test week and the severe lack of sleep has resulted in one thing and one thing only.
mutation.
that's right, a change in my DNA sequences that gave rise to a completely, not just different, but inhuman physical appearance. i have mutated into a creature bearing much resemblance to "mosquitoman" and i am absolutely horrified by each glance i make at a mirror. how am i to face everyone tomorrow looking like freddy krueger. i really hope my breathtakingly beautiful partner stephanie doesn't get too freaked out (too bad she's 15 though).

i'll post pictures of me as a jason voorhees look-alike at the end of this post.

today i embark on a journey, one filled with back-to-back sleeping, snacking, hours upon hours of television monitoring and oh my good lord i am hell too exhausted to continue with this post. besides, i need the sleep to mend my face back into human characterization.

another time mates.



as if the vesicles and pustules were not enough as punishment, look at my eyes oh god dammit.



superwondermarvellous. i wash my face with anti-acne facial foam and they can't look any more obvious.



just out of the shower and i'm already looking like my face needs sandpapering.


oh the balance between being intelligent and being good looking is easily tipped.
between these two traits, i think i crossed the border genetically-determined by god.

Curly
had nuthin to do @ 12:14 AM